The true me that no one knows

My oh my! this week has been sooooo crazy with school and dance everyday now! Yikes! The course load isn't too bad, i'm ahead still in all of my classes, but it is still overwhelming a bit. I can handle it though. they finally fixed my transcript from last year when I wan in the hospital. I missed over 100 days of school. i am aiming to miss less than 10 this year. all I can do is try. One thing that i loved this week was youth group. it was really cool this week and i love it because it gets me away from home and socializing. two things that never go with my name. most people don't know because I act a little but i hate crowds, love to be alone, usually hate not to be alone, and am very depressed constantly. no matter what happens in my life i am still depressed. it doesn't even have to have a reason. my doctor told me that and my therapist. it's part of the diseases(bipolar) and PTSD. So I just have to try to live with it and not give up. It is so hard though, sometimes I want to end it all forever. But then I think back to all of those who love and support me through this, my family, my friends, and my kitten. I can't. I have to deal with it. That's the truth.

This long weekend has been spectacular. I went on a little retreat with my family for two days to relax and stuff. I sure did. We went to our friend's house in Roosevelt, UT. It is about 3 hours from Bountiful. It was amazing.
We came home last night and stuff and today I'm hanging out with my bf, Austen, and my bff, Maren, and going up to our timeshare up at Snowbird later today. It will be a blast. I haven't seen him since church camp. WOW, that's a long time. I miss him. A lot of the time he is my only reason to live. It's true though. Him well and my family and friends. So ok I got three reasons. But anyways that's all i can think of for now. Love y'all
Dev