been a while

lately things have not been so hott for me. I broke up with a man I thought I loved and would last forever. I have felt so lost and alone lately. I am still going strong in my classes at WC but emotionally and mentally I am falling apart. It scares me to death that this is happening. Granted it could be like how it was a while ago, like a year and I am very thankful it is not to that point. But I am scared that things are getting worse. I have been so depressed lately and the part that makes it hard is I don't know why. I think though I should go through my DBT binder from Tx and actively use skills and stuff. I think that will help some. I just feel so alone lately and hopeless. I know this doesn't sound good but it's the way it is. I feel too scared to tell my therapist because I am scared how she will react and freak, in my opinion. I don't know what to do. I am trying my hardest to not fall apart and hold it together but it is tough. I think also being gone from college for 3 weeks and having to recover from surgery when I was doing really well in recovery makes it hard. I hope it will all be ok though. We will see. I see my therapist on Thursday which seems like forever away but oh well once classes and Monday comes around i hope the week will go by fast.