Stronger

These past 2 weeks or so have been insane to say the least...emotionally, physically, mentally with school and anyway you can name it. There has been one thing though that has kept me going and it has been being able to breathe and use my voice to get my needs met! For the longest time those are two things that I could never do and for many reasons it was best not to (the reasons why don't matter and are personal). But what didn't kill me made me stronger. I have been trying to balance being alone vs. isolation and stepping out of my bubble and still not pushing myself too much to where I will break. It is a very hard balancing act and tiring. It is hard when you add school, work, cheer and family/relationship. However, the thing is it doesn't matter if it is hard because it is worth it to fight and even if I fall I will be able to stand back up because I have done this before. I have done really really well and haven't engaged in any ED behaviors in over a year now and I was beginning to feel myself slipping and I reach out for help. I thought to myself, WHOA this is bad....wait no it isn't. It is ok to have the thoughts and whatnot as long as I reach out for help I am ok. So this song has been amazing for me lately and been keeping me going. I don't encourage isolation as being alone is different...and Communication with friends, family, partners and using and asking for support is key in recovery but alone time for me is the KEY too.

"What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"-Kelly Clarkson 

You know the bed feels warmer 

Sleeping here alone 

You know I dream in colour 

And do the things I want 

You think you got the best of me 

Think you had the last laugh

Bet you think that everything good is gone 

Think you left me broken down 

Think that I'd come running back 

Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Stand a little taller

 Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone 

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter 

Footsteps even lighter 

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger 

Just me, myself and I 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Stand a little taller 

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone 

You heard that I was starting over with someone new 

They told you I was moving on, over you 

 You didn't think that I'd come back 

I'd come back swinging

 You try to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

 Stand a little taller

 Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone 

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter 

Footsteps even lighter

 Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

 What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger 

Just me, myself and I 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Stand a little taller

 Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

 Thanks to you I got a new thing started 

Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted 

Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me

 You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning

 In the end... 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Stand a little taller 

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone 

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter 

Footsteps even lighter 

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

[2x] 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger 

Just me, myself and I 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Stand a little taller

 Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone