awakening

Ok it has been a while and the past month so much has happened and so much has changed. I have changed the way I look at things in life. I have gotten my eating back on track and my Ed behaviors way down, none while at CFC of course. I have been really doing well and i am so grateful for all of you who have supported me and been there. I am doing well. I am almost to Phase 3 in the program and been there about 5 weeks now. Wow time goes by fast. I have been home for 4 and might have to go to IOP here soon due to insurance despite my tx team saying it isn't a good idea. Oh well I will do my best and if I make a mistake or fall back some I will have the support at CFC and get more help.

As long as I try my best that is all anyone can ask for. Hell then I would meet freakin insurance criteria. I'm not saying I am going to give up by any means, quite the contrary, but am prepared. I have so many tools and people around me. I am succeeding and will continue to succeed. Hell it was a very hard day yet I am still be positive and optimistic....what a miracle...it actually kind of is a big deal for me.

It is hard sometimes cause I refuse to let myself cry, well not as much now, but still try not to. But I am working on that in addition to other things. It is a process. It is a journey. I will have freedom from Ed. He is losing more and more control daily. One day at a time. It is all going to work out.

I feel like I could write a lot more, put up a few of my poems and other writings I have done but not going to because I need to take care of myself and go to bed.