It's just another year. 2013

It is just another year. The world didn't end as many thought it would or the Mayan's predicted. The days just continue to a new month and the year goes from 2012 to 2013. I think for me that the realization of this is huge. For so many the New Year is filled with sooo many resolutions to lose weight, change this about themselves or some other goal that seems to rarely be reached. I think I may be a little more irritated than usual this year due to my work and school doing the Biggest Loser Challenge with the one at my work as a contest with weekly weigh-ins. HELLO I am done with those and NEVER again! I know for myself I can't do it. I am at healthy just as I am and will NOT subject myself to such torture. I used to do this and make goals to lose this much, exercise so much and change who I am. Let me just say this: It isn't worth it. Most people know that I believe with my heart and sole that diets and crazy exercising don't work. Now I don't think making fitness goals or goals to eat healthier is bad at all I just prefer to make goals year-round that are smaller and attainable.  For example, I want to start getting back into yoga as it has physical and mental benefits.

Life is more than just going through the motions of it. For many years it was wake up, go to school, homework, bed, repeat. I would fit in food, family and friends if and when I felt like it. Now that isn't only not healthy but it isn't living. It also isn't necessarily showing empathy or being considerate to those who love me and support me. I am a human not a robot. For so long this was my life due to school and having a set schedule and now work added on. Now even though I still have a set schedule with work and school. I try to thrive rather than survive, although some days I only survive, as it is life. The word thrive has beautiful definitions: to grow vigorously, to gain in wealth or possessions, or my favorite one, to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances. So to thrive, I try to relax, watch a TV show or two and eat dinner with my partner. We even will turn on the TV sometimes while doing homework or music. I plan to go out and spend time with my family or partner on the weekends or when I don't work. I am more considerate of how my schedule affects my partner and she and I both deserve and need time together as part of our relationship. I also regularly spend time with my parents, who I used to avoid at any cost. I think many people in society these days have to work a lot and have several things on their schedule for many reasons: economy, kids,schooling, and multiple jobs. I also think it is an active battle to balance a schedule, know what is too much and how to thrive.

So school just started again and it is my last semester before I graduate with my degree. I am really psyched and proud of myself because of all the barriers I have had to overcome and still are overcoming. I am proud I am doing it in three and a half years because I had to take time off for treatment and still graduating with my class. I am REALLY proud of my partner doing it in three years and graduating a year early! I am still working and actually have increased days/hours so it will be a challenge to manage it this semester. However, I have my voice and will speak up to my boss if I need to decrease my hours. She already told me she'd work with me. Right there, I am setting my limits too as I know what will be too much. I really love work at the treatment center with the teens. I really like giving back and being at a healthy place where I can. I have to keep myself in balance and continue to thrive so that I stay in a good place. Now yes, I still have my struggles and am pushing myself but I am also thriving, experiencing freedom, and being me! I never thought it would happen. So here is what I look forward to and goals for 2013.

2013

• Graduating in May with my Bachelors in Psychology
• Beginning yoga again to help gain strength and flexibility back(Hopefully with a friend) 
• Travel during the summer SOMEWHERE with my partner
• Hopefully go to California in July (or around there).
• Blog weekly 
• Begin to paint more frequently again
• Stay connected to more friends and supports
• Have FUN more often
• Stay healthy medically!
• Deciding where my partner and I are moving after our lease is up in July
• All of our TV shows especially Grey's Anatomy and GLEE!
• Getting my butterfly and my recovery tattoos touched up and maybe get my other one I want.
• Continue reading books I enjoy on top of textbooks
• Find new music I like (Suggestions are welcome)
• Continue to move forward towards my therapeutic goals in therapy
• Get outdoors more (when it isn't 9 degrees outside)!

So far I am doing well with school and work. The New Year is turning out great so far so we will see how it goes. Here is one of my favorite songs that I thought of while writing this...so I HAD to post it. Yes I Am-Demi Lovato