To me life is kinda like a balance beam cause you have to take each step with caution and care. It is like weighing the pros and cons. Each time you move you have to be not only aware of yourself but about your body. You have to think about how each move will impact each other, the consequences and the successes. as you are on the beam I think walking it is similar to the journey of life. If you fall of the beam you get back on it. If you make a mistake you learn from it. To me that isn't much different than life. the more you walk the beam the more you learn through practice. Before you know it you can do all sorts of tricks and you are having the time of your life. This analogy came into my mind today when I was looking at my old gymnastics trophies and medals. I saw a picture of me after a meet and saw the glow in my face and my eyes. I want that glow to be back again.
I think life is a teeter-totter but with the right balance you can be in the middle and not go up and down all the time. It makes me think about my life and how busy it is. What my priorities currently are and how they should be. It makes me think of re-evaluating all I do and to do my favorite pros and cons so that I live a more balanced life and find a new middle path with less extremes and the need to do everything. I don't want to feel overwhelmed again and I am trying not to do that again. Even if I do experience setbacks I am still not to where I was before cause I always learn from my mistakes. I may be stubborn and hard headed but I do learn. I am trying to do what I need to do in my life so that I am truly happy with myself and see and feel the glow and the self-love I had as a young child. I will get to that point. I am fighting for myself and my life. I am getting back every day because I am not alone. I have my friends, family and treatment team. I will succeed. It is just a matter of when. But i will be patient and focus on what i can do in the moment and not judge myself. I will make my choice to fight and I already did. I have a lot to look forward to in addition to all that I have now. I am going to be who I want to be in the inside, follow my heart and have faith. That is all I can do. I am strong and can handle all of this. I refuse to give up
xo Dev
2 comments:
honestly dear, i totally enjoy reading your optimistic blogs. your analogies written here were very clear cut and truly meaningful. i do hope you know you will make it to your goal, i am sure i am not the only one who has full faith in you! keep at it!
rikki you are amazing. you are not the only one. I have a huge support system and love everyone. we should really hang out. do you still have the same cell #
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