Full of twists and turns, good and bad this journey is called life. this journey is about finding my true self, reaching my hope, goals and dreams, and recovery from Ed and my past. Walls and cliffs come up but I have the strength to tear them down. I have the strength to jump and climb and fight my way to the top! To the freedom to be COMPLETELY ME!!!! I have had many trials thrown at me the past few weeks with drama, financial issues, stress, work I could go on and on but focusing on the positives and using my tools has pulled me through! I can ask for support and help without feeling too guilty or filled with shame. I am NOT perfect nor will I ever be. Perfection doesn't exist but recovery and freedom does! I am reaping in the rewards that dedication, time, commitment, honesty, faith, hope, and wisdom bring not in just my recovery but in life. I am going beyond the negatives I have dealt with in life. But yet everything I have gone through and made me stronger.
I have survived another year in life also! I am 19 now and to me that still is huge cause a few years ago I never had intentions to make it to 18 even. It has also been 2 years since I was last in tx. I have changed sooo much. I can finally see the sun shining in MY eyes and not just trusting in others who see it in me. I am truly a changed girl. I am truly finding the Devyn I was put on this Earth to be. The one that this Universe and this World put in for me. I am on this journey, good and bad it would not be my life without both. There is a good in everything. Yes, I still have fear. But hell with that I do it anyways. I embrace my fear, hold Ed close so he can't control me anymore.
I am finally happy my Tx and appointments are less now. I am done with my dietitian now. I am finally stabilized on my meds( took two years!) I am finally happy and healthy and safe. I am in CONTROL. I am just getting geared up for my sophomore year at Westminster and I just got an apartment too with my fiance! I have good relationships with my parents and friends. I have healthy ones now. I see the difference and so do others. I know that I have changed.
Change is possible. Freedom is possible. I know now that complete recovery is possible for ME and anyone. There has been no doubt in my mind now since March 13. I love who I am and who I am becoming. I love myself (I don't always like myself still but oh well). I know I have choice. I know I have power and a safety net with friends and family who love, care and just want what is best with me. I am strong and brave even when I don't always feel it, I look back to my past and the accomplishments and then I can. I am glad my life is finally staying where I want it and being stable but with more good adventure, good times, healthy friends, and overall ME! I am me. I am beautifully imperfect. I am a butterfly flying through my life and my journey experiencing the freedom I have!
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