Being a kid again

Today was the first official day at my new job. I am working with kids that have behavioral and emotional issues in a preschool. I love working with kids and it is what I want to do eventually when I am out of college. It was really awesome today cause I was in a whole new situation and I wasn't freaking out unless you count being so excited and "at home" with the kids. I am a lead in the two year old room and the looks on their faces just living in the moment and learning was amazing and serene. It was so much fun playing with them today, getting to know them and their schedule. When I first walked into the classroom not all of the kids were jumping out of joy and just leaping into faith to trust me, while a few were very reserved and scared while others we just filled with trust for me. The amazing thing is that by the end of the day all of the children were beginning to trust me and respect me. They were learning I won't let them walk all over me or act out and get away with it. Of course children are fragile, young and learning but that is what I love about them I was able to positively redirect them and try to help them understand.

When I was doing this today it was awesome. It also reminded me of my "inner child." It reminded me of how i should embrace mine and love her as I do now. That itself is huge cause even thinking a few months back, I didn't trust my inner child. I didn't want anything to do with her as I feared I had failed and she was too messed up for any hope. I was wrong and I am glad I was wrong. She was wounded and needed to be healed maybe and learn how to trust again but never too far gone. I now feel a deep connection with her and it only helps me I think. I didn't really think about it until today when I was playing with the kids and all and stoked that this is what I get to do at least all summer. It was heart warming to know that I have changed my perspective on my "inner child." So another aspect I know that has changed. Still I know if I struggle I have her plus all my supports. It is an amazing feeling but glad I am still doing well, grateful for my past and to be where I am and even just to be alive and in the moment. I love who I am becoming.