Walking towards freedom!

Life really is a journey with ups and downs. I forgot got the down part last night. I forgot on how I have always been able to bounce back fast. I forgot about all that led up to it were my Choices and though not great they served a purpose. It showed me all that I did not want to go back to. I am glad last night I reached out to my friends and my parents. I am so glad I used the DBT skills I learned in treatment. I am so glad I was able to be honest with myself and not put up a mask or facade. I am so proud of myself I trusted myself to ask others, besides my parents for once, for support. I got it. It wasn't hard once I actually did it. It felt freeing. It really made it clear that I can do this. Just a rough day nothing more nothing less. I handled it as best I could. I didn't cope in unhealthy ways. I listened to music, journaled, I took a hot shower, I made it a new day. Right then, right there I started over. Today the sun is shining outside but I can also say the fire inside my heart glowing for life is strong again.

I feel I can still live a healthy, happy and productive life. I still define my life and I exhibit control. I make choices, ask for help and don't make excuses. I have given up aiming for perfectionism for just doing my best. I am me. This journey is hard at times granted I will say that but a little bump happened. It could have been made into a bigger one by actions I could have taken or didn't take at all but I took the right ones. I did what I needed to do for me. I am strong. I am not alone and this all is still getting better. I took another step forward last night even though it didn't feel great at all and I cried. Today I will not say I am ecstatic about life but I can honestly say I am doing pretty darn good. It was unknown, hard, imperfect and uncomfortable and amazing all at once. I overcame a wall and am still standing. I am closer to finding freedom and me even more than a day ago. RECOVERY is HARD but I can say with even more conviction that it is WORTH IT. I feel even more freedom today! Recovery gives freedom but ya gotta do the hard work.