still thinking...

I am still thinking a lot about, why do I still feel so happy, free, and content with who I am? Maybe it is because I am not taking breaks, making excuses, or hiding anything anymore. I am being ME! I am showing my passion for life every breath I take and every experience I have. I have continued to let go of the perfectionism. I am letting go my anxiety about life, and being present in the moment. It may be hard at times but nothing could make me want to go back to a life of hatred of myself and others, my life, the world (yes..the world), isolation, self-harm etc. NOTHING CAN OR WILL STOP ME FROM ENJOYING MY LIFE. I have really loved the relationships I am developing with my friends. I really feel (and know) I am opening up and trusting others. I trust myself to do anything I set my mind to. I know I am going to beat anything life throws at me. I have faith. It also was a big deal that last night I was completely open to my parents about how I am bisexual.

For a long time that is something I had to hide and I think that was one part of why it was so hard for me to open up to them and communicate to them. Well my parents, ROCK they didn't care and had an idea already. Gee I can't get away with anything even if I don't tell them. I think this semester's finals will be a lot less hell than last semester. I am taking care of myself. I won't be pulling 72 hours straight of studying and not eating or taking any breaks. I will continue to keep being intuitive to what my body needs and taking time just for me to journal, blog, etc just to get my mind off of school. I am going to sleep and cut off studying at 11 PM just like I am doing now. It also helps that my work at the ski resort ended today and I don't start my new job until after finals probably. But right now all I am thinking about is how far I have come, how far I have changed and what I need to continue in order to feel this way about my life. I am being me and that is all that matters.