So I have been having to fight a lot lately to recover and to keep pushing through everything that i need to push through in therapy, school, work, family, friends etc. Well I have also been amazing at doing that (I would typically never say amazing about hard work and stress) but I have also felt amazing about my life, myself and how my mood has been.
So l am a Senator at my college and we had our annual gala last night. Up until the second I left last night I had mix feelings about it. i was definitely excited but I was also nervous not only because I was with a lot of people from my college in student government, various professors, and a couple deans but also because I almost made the point. in a way, not to get close to too many this year and just dealt with the basics and what I had to do. I let eh complete honor and leadership of my position which there are only 40 Senators in my college of 4,000 and that in social science cluster (my cluster since I am a psych major) there are only 4 seats and Social Science is a big thing at my school. So I am very privileged to be a part of it again next year as I got re-elected a few weeks ago. I have also been so stoked about last night. I got an award last night there and I also handled the dinner with everyone there very well. First of all I wasn't even thinking about the food and neither did Ed until I already ate my main course and most of desert and this was over a few hour time span too. It was the first time since I was 9 (when all this began intensely) that Ed wasn't there and neither was I judging myself or what I was doing. I really was loving the experience. I feel like i really am an adult and have really been becoming engaged in my community at college, my future career in psychology after college and just life. I had soo much fun and it really also brought into perspective on how much I have really grown and changed over the past few years for sure and even the past year. I am not even 19 til July and I feel that aspects in my life have changed so much and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Secondly, today is my one year of being out of treatment. It is also a huge thing for me because the longest I have been out of treatment of some sort in almost the past 10 years has been 7 months. Granted I still see my therapist bi-weekly and my dietitian bi-weekly but those are my choice and I consider them upkeep at this point and to keep going further. I am so stoked about it. It was even better that last night I didn't realize it was til it popped up in my calendar this morning and my old T at my old treatment center texted me and told me. So i felt it weird at first. it feels in many ways it wasn't too long ago but in others it feels like a lifetime. But time wise it really wasn't. I didn't even graduate from high school until June 2009. But I feel so proud of myself that things have really been going great even though it is hard at times. But that is life and I wouldn't want it any other way. Everything i have gone through in my life good and bad has made me into the person i am today. I am smart. I am beautiful inside and out. I am wise about life. I have faith in myself and others. I believe in myself and am trusting myself and others. All of this is a work in progress. None of this is perfect but neither am I and I don't intend to be anymore. I am who i am and that is perfectly fine for me!
Oh and I also got an awesome job working at children's center for kids who have mental and behavioral problems. this is awesome cause it is what I want to do as a psychologist one day so i get to start in a few weeks and will be full-time Therapuetic Preschool Specialist (their fancy word for teacher in the class) in the summer and part-time in college semesters. It is the job I have wanted ever since I interned there so I am stoked and it will be a wicked summer especially with the retreat right before college starts up in August. Well sorry for the long blog but oh well wait I don't feel sorry it is what I needed to write and it feels good that I did. yay no I get to go post it on my actual blog site too.
Ok lol. I am done now. Love ya
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